A Week of Tests

This week has definitely tested me! Just when I think I am on a roll and am on top of everything- The Universe humbly reminds me who is in control- not me!!! LOL! Willow was very sick with an ear infection and missed 3 days of school. Wren missed these 3 as well because Willow was just too sick to drag around.    Then the night before Willow was going back to school, something went terribly wrong with my back! I think I injured it at the gym and then made it worse working out at home with the sick kids. I can barely walk and the pain is horrible. I have not made it to the gym in a week and this makes me mad!! Another lesson in slowing down and letting things that are out of my control go. I have not been able to work on my art either which makes me mad. LOL Yet another lesson in letting go. Things will return to normal and I know this. So, I am releasing this anger. Willow feels better and I will too- that is what is most important and everything else will fall into place. I was very busy with birds until this happened- check out my desk- it looks kinda scary!!

Until next time, let go and roll with it!

Letting Go, and Letting it Flow

I have decided that I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself to "Produce or make" things. Every night when the girls go to bed, I am off to the studio with the thoughts that I must make, I must get something listed in my Artfire store, I must do now, get it done now! This enormous amount of pressure I put on myself it ridiculous and unnecessary! These thoughts were totally confirmed when I ran across, by accident, (although I believe there are no accidents!) This great website-by  kellyraeroberts. She was an instant inspiration to me! She had a guest post entitled- Breaking out of a creative rut By: Ali Edwards. You should definitely go check these out! It really spoke to me and told me that it's ok not to be that art/craft creating machine all the time. Part of being creative is also those times that you just don't feel that way and it is OK!
     I can only figure 2 reasons why I put so much pressure on myself. One is because I am a stay at home mom and do not contribute financially to the household. I have worked since I was 14 and always had a job. So it is very difficult (in my head) to not bring that dollar home. I am under no pressure from my husband and he never calls it his money or tells me how to spend it. He always stands behind me to follow my dreams and understands the level of difficulty being a stay at home mom entails! It is me and only me that puts this pressure on myself.
     The second reason I feel that I put so much pressure on myself is because I am a recovering alcoholic. I have almost 4 years clean and sober. I spent about 20 years being wasted. Sometimes I put the pressure on myself because I feel like I need to make up for lost time. I have pretty much let go of this idea! I know I can never make up for all that time and my life is here and now. This is truly the happiest I have ever been!

So, I highly suggest you check out- http://www.kellyraeroberts.blogspot.com/

and- Breaking out of a creative rut by: Ali Edwards

Until later I am going to flow like the river above with the full moon of possibilities shining above me!!!!

2010 Wrap Up

This year, like all others, was filled with many ups and downs. Faced with financial difficulties, as I am sure many families have faced, sometimes I was not sure how we would make it through. I have been practicing a new way of looking at things and dealing with life. These new ways began a little over 3 years ago when I decided  to take a clean and sober path in life. These "New ways" of thinking truly helped me through all of the roller coaster times this year. Each day I am getting better at "Letting go." I do what is in my control the best I can and leave the rest up to the Universe. This year I have also practiced not worrying for it is really a wasted emotion. Worry does not change things- actions do. Each day I try to better myself in whatever ways I can and each new day I will continue to do the same. I am truly grateful for everything in my life right now. I am thankful for such a wonderfully supportive husband who stands by my quest to be the best person I can be while following my dreams. I am thankful for my healthy, smart, funny as shit girls who just make my heart glow! I am thankful for my friend Court who is always there to listen to me cry, complain or whatever. I am thankful to my friend Debi who always encourages me to think outside of the box and not be fearful of trying new things artistically! I am thankful that my mom now lives close so she can watch my children grow as well as watch me grow into the woman I know I can be!

If I continue to do the footwork and let God(Universe) navigate, I will always be right where I am supposed to be and 2011 will be an even better year than this one!! WOOO HOOO!!!!!!

I guess this is kinda a P.S.- After I wrote this and posted it I got to thinking that I never said things worked out and we are on much stronger ground now!!! All the hard work and letting go paid off. Also, now that I have my own art space and am becoming better at managing my time I will hopefully be cranking out more cool jewelry and art to put up in my Artfire store!!!!!! The Universe is good!!!