Mini Melt Downs and Mini Miracles

On the mini meltdown end- I had one last night. Not an earth shattering, ugly cry one, just a mini one, if any of you know where I am coming from! I was sitting in my art room surrounded by all my wonderful art supplies, finished projects, half finished projects and projects still in the brainstorming phase. Then it hit me, I started to cry. Like I said, not an Earth shattering cry, just a pitiful little lost cry. I kept thinking- what am I doing? Why am I creating this stuff, what is the point, where am I going, am I on the right path? Yuk- I hate it when I get like that! My husband popped in and inquired as to what was the problem. (God Bless his soul, he has to deal with this all the time!!!!) I told him and he asked, "Does all of this make you happy?" I said "Yes" and he replied, "Well, that is all that matters." I blubbered, "But none of this does anything to help our family in anyway."  He chuckled and informed me that it makes me happy and a happy mommy is a good thing! He always knows how to make me feel better!!
On the mini miracle end, our washer which has been broken since Thanksgiving was fixed and it was a minor repair!!! Yea!!! I have never been so happy to do laundry! I am on my 4th load now. There are no laundry mats around here anywhere!!! Where I used to live they were on every corner and I probably used all of them. I never take my washer and dryer for granted because those memories of the Coin-O-Washes are so fresh in my head!!! Thanks for mini miracles!!!!!
Peace, Love and Light

Doing "Nothing" is OK

As I sat down to write this blog, I was going to start with something like- I did not get everything accomplished that I wanted to today. Now, I see myself as a pretty positive person most of the time. Of course I have my pity pot moments but in general I am pretty positive. I decided that I need to focus on the things I did get done not on the things I didn't and I found it to be a pretty big list. It is amazing how if you change your view of things how much better you feel. I think I put way more pressure on myself to "Get things done" than I need. I have been clean and sober for a little over 3 1/2 years. Prior to that I was pretty much wasted for about 20 years. I think this is why I always feel I must do more or get more done. Sometimes I feel as if I need to make up for all that time. I am working on the fact that I don't always have to be "Doing"!!! Relaxing and putzing around the house is just as important as "Doing"
         I would like to know who else feels the need to constantly "do" and why? Are you working on doing "Nothing" is ok?
Peace, Love and Light

Regrouping

After the children were tucked into bed, I stepped into my studio and was like "Whoa! What a mess!" A couple of weeks before my art show I comandeered a room in my house to become my art studio. I really needed a creative space/retreat of  my own. The little corner of my bedroom just wasn't cutting it anymore. I never really had time to organize or place anything. So here starts my task. It is quite daunting not knowing where to begin. I organized all my beads, papers and ephemera. Overload- I needed a break. I went outside and the moon was fabulous, so I took a picture.

This is the best picture I could get and it does not do it justice at all.  Like the moon, my life is very full right now. Full of hope, dreams, aspirations and most important of all- LOVE! I feel so blessed to have a husband that stands behind me and encourages me to pursue my dreams! Back to organizing and then to get some pictures of my craftings up in My Handmade Store!

Blogger's Block?

So, I have not blogged in a little while and the other day I was pondering as to why. I had a craft show that was coming up and had to finish making alot of stuff- was this why- maybe, a little bit. I have a 2 and 3 year old that run me ragged all day- was this why- maybe, a little. Was I worried that I had nothing to write about and that my life is so uninteresting that nobody would possibly want to read it- I think this is probably the biggest reason why. I seem to place little guidelines and rules on myself before I have even written anything! Where do these come from? I have been inspired by somebody I love to follow and read-   Pixie Polly
She is so inspiring to me because she always writes straight from the heart. I am going to make a point to blog everyday about whatever comes to me without shutting it down before it has even been typed. It's like I censor my own self. WTF??!!! I don't know why.
So- here is to trying something new! Thanks Polly!

Change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember,
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.


This is from:
The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.